Barnacles and Boomerangs

Both my grandfathers were born in Europe.  Both made their way to this country with little in their pockets.  Both by themselves, both as teenagers.
Times have changed.  The when, how and if the kids are ready to leave and make their own way.
Some choose to leave as soon as high school is completed.  Some bolt when you hit them up for room and board.  Some head to post-secondary returning on holiday breaks and in summer.  Some do the “work commute” sharing their time between camps and home.
Boomerangs left but now they are back.  It might be temporary as in the case of a loss of job or failed marriage.  Part the comfort of familiarity part economic necessity.  Or, it may be that it’s hard living the life they’ve become accustomed to when rent and other costs get in the way.
Barnacles cement a permanent relationship with the family home.  High youth unemployment and Canada’s multi-cultural make-up are making this a more common practice.  Others may stay on to assist a parent or where both parties agree that is the best solution.
But, how to deal with those that are quite capable but refuse to move?  It’s awkward but best not to be the enabler.  Unless you are well-heeled or the children are paying their fair share your continued subsidization of them impacts your own ability to save for the realities of retirement.
A starting point may include setting the expectation that they will leave and picking a realistic date.  They should also get use to the idea that adulthood isn’t free so room and board need to be charged.  Damage deposits, upfront rent and connection fees need to be budgeted for and saved in advance.
One mustn’t leave before having some understanding of their ongoing monthly costs.  It’s quickly apparent that it’s more economical with 2 or more sharing and the auction, internet and thrift stores sell perfectly usable items for getting established.  Additional life skills like cooking and cleaning may need some additional practice.
Timeframe needs to be when they are ALMOST prepared.  Even eagles don’t push their young out of the nest before they are ready.  A farewell gift of a return of some/all of their room and board may be a nice gesture.
How tough is it?  Not nearly as tough as it was.  Just ask my grandparents.